Monday afternoon-Topic: “Democrats are Funny, Republicans aren’t

Monday Feb 25th – Cabo San Lucas
We were in port today. Took a city tour that was one of the worst I have ever taken and I was sitting in the front right next to the driver. It was made more entertaining because Lionel was with us.

So we have one panel today.
Topic: “Democrats are Funny, Republicans aren’t.
Jon Elliott with Randi and Lionel are the featured panelists today.
Jon Elliott
Thanked Mark and his brother for saving Air America to lots of applause.
Liberal -> liberty -> freedom
Conservative -> condemn -> convict –c> condom ->conjugal -> constipated!
Celebs behind Republicans – Ben Stein, Bo Derek, Ron Silver, Dennis Miller.
What do libs and conservatives
Movies, plays, concerts, watch 60 minutes. We read
Nascar, watch “Survivor”. When they read they read self-help books.
We’ve got Al Franken, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert.
There are Republicans on this boat!

Top 10 questions by Republicans to the captain:
1. If ship sinks will they send the luggage home? (yes,by submarine)
2. Does the crew sleep on the ship? (no, not allowed to sleep).
3. At the reception, are all the Dutch officers from Holland? (Only the ones born there)
4. What religion are those people with the patches behind their ears? (Vulcans)
5. I know the diff between port and starboard, but which is front and back?
6. Is that the same moon we see at home? (No, but the sun is the same)
7. Do I put my luggage out before or after I go to bed (after – we’ll be quiet)
8. What do you do with the ice carvings after they melt? (frozen daiquaris)
9. Is it cable TV we see on board? (only basic)
10. Will this elevator take me to the front of this ship? (do you think this is the Enterprise?)
Lionel
This topic may be more serious than you think. I hate the label “liberal”. I don’t do anything that can be labeled. Why people in arts, poetry, music, film, academia – are all liberals? Why are the most creative people called liberal. The liberal “elite”. What do despots do first – get rid of the smart people – the liberals! People ask: Why doesn’t liberal radio work? NOT TRUE. We see the big picture.

Think of wizbangs like Dennis Miller. His career is tanking. He became a conservative comedian.
Entertainers of conservative people: John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, Bruce Willis, Bo Derek. James Woods, Brittney Spears, Chuck Norris, John Voight. Rudy guiliani – question for him – when you say you didn’t know your first wife was your cousin… Conservatives say “I don’t get it”. They believe in Jesus. Ask them this: Which country would Jesus bomb? We get it. They don’t. Ronald Reagan used “Born in the USA” the anthem of lost hope. Didn’t GET it!!
If you want to see where the country is going, watch country music. Willie Nelson! Merle Haggard! When you’ve lost Merle you’ve lost the country.

Randi
They are not observant! We’re creative, free thinkers, we like each other. They just want to tell us the way it “ought to “ be, the way they want it to be. All black and white. Evil and good. They are inhibited. We see Larry Craig and say “great for the show today”. They’re having meetings.
They’re so afraid to be themselves and we just want to be ourselves. The conservatives are in the Marianas making sure the sex trade remains legal and here I am giving it away!
Mark
Liberal = tolerant, more open-minded. Frost wrote a liberal is so open-minded he won’t take his own side.
Conservatives have a view that life is nasty and short.
Guiliani – either you love him or he hates you. He left the race to spend more time with 9-11. Like all good New Yorkers, he went to Florida to die.

Questions and comments:
Republicans are only funny inadvertently. And they don’t get it.
Reminder of Colbert’s press club stuff.
A retired Christian pastor says not all Christians are idiots.
Colbert – truth has a liberal bias.
How to handle the “Dems can’t protect us” with humor. Mark reminded us of Biden’s comment about Guiilian- “every sentence has a noun a verb and 9-11”
McCain – “bomb,bomb,bomb Iran” Mark says we say things we wish we could unsay – Randi says that we DO unsay it. We do apologize. Lionel says it’s unfortunate that they think it’s funny! It’s a symptom of a pathology.